As you may have guessed if you've read some of my other posts, I've been on a weight loss journey for some time. It started about 3 years ago after I threw out my back really bad. It was the worst it had ever been. I was essentially crippled. I couldn't stand, I couldn't walk, I couldn't sit, I couldn't turn my neck, I couldn't do much of anything. Of course, the reason given to me by my doctor was that I was overweight and my discs could no longer hold up to all that weight. They pumped me full of pain pills, muscle relaxers, and told me to lose weight. That's the normal speech I always got. It was at the same time, however, that my mom underwent back surgery and really did become crippled. It was an awful process for her and she's never really been okay since then. She also struggled with many other health issues and I suddenly saw my future. It hurts me a great deal to see how much my mom suffers. It hurts me even more to know how much it hurts her to see me repeating her lifestyle and health issues.
I made the decision to do something about it and I committed to it. From that point on, I have not veered off my path once. While I had times where I hit plateaus, I never went in reverse and gained any of the weight I lost. Slow and steady wins the race? Right?? I didn't go on any special diet or anything like that. I started slow by just cutting out some of my "bad habits", like soda and sweets. I didn't go cold turkey, I started by eating less of those things, moving to diet soda, etc. Slowly I learned to ween myself off these things until I could eliminate some of them and limit others. Through that process came a natural ability to learn how to eat. I learned what made my body feel good, what made me feel sluggish, how my body reacted to various foods. Things I never ate before became some of my favorite foods - vegetables, tofu, etc. I started out simple with exercise, just the treadmill at first. I bought a pretty cheap one and started off doing 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes...working my way up until I was on it an hour or more. I got into a routine and I committed to it. After I hit a plateau with my weight loss I expanded to doing a little more than that at a gym and doing elliptical, spin bike, etc. I found that helped, but I was still not seeing the results I wanted. Luckily, through a friend of mine I found a personal trainer that specialized in kettlebell training. It literally changed my life! I saw immediate results and the pounds just melted away. People couldn't believe the changes they saw in me. I was dropping one size after the other. I've been sticking that for over a year now and it continues to improve my health and fitness.
At the beginning of my journey I was 302 pounds and wearing a size 28 jeans and 26/28 tops (sometimes 3x or 4x). I felt sluggish, tired, and always uncomfortable in my own skin.
This weekend I hit a milestone that at times I never thought I would achieve. The single digit milestone! I went into a store at the mall and found a pair of shorts I thought were cute. The last size I had fit into was a 10, so naturally that is what I grabbed to try on. Along with those, I found these cute jean shorts and grabbed those in a 10 as well. Once in the dressing room, I put the shorts on and they practically fell right off! Could it be?? Was I really an 8? That was once a far fetched dream. An 8 might not seem like such a milestone to some, but when you consider my journey and how far I've come, this was one of the happiest moments I've had in a long time. I almost burst into tears of joy. What was even more wonderful was when I asked the sales girl if she could bring me an 8, not only did she NOT give me the "AS IF" look, but she asked if I wanted a 6 too!! I loved that!
I don't believe anyone's size defines them and it doesn't define me. I did not lose weight because I wanted to fit a mold or be accepted by society. I didn't do it to make others happy. I did it because I truly wanted to have a good and healthy life. I didn't want my future limited for me because I didn't take care of myself. I saw the effects of obesity on my family and I wanted more for myself than that. I owed it to them and to myself to be healthy and happy. It brings me great joy to see how happy my mom is when I achieve these milestones. It's almost as if she is achieving these things with me. My family and friends are so proud of me and that makes me feel fantastic!
I hope this encourages you that if this is a choice you make for yourself and you want to make a change, it is possible. It is hard work and it does take time, but you can do it. First and foremost, you just have to love yourself. That's the most important life lesson I've learned.
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