I am the baby of my family. I have one sister who is about 3 years older than me. Pretty much from the day I was born she was trying to get rid of me. When my parents first introduced me to her, she was not impressed. She asked if they could put me away now. My mom tried to explain to her that I was a baby that needed love and care just like she did, but she was not convinced. She thought I was just a doll or a toy and they needed to be done with me.
After my first 6 months of life, my sister decided that if my parents weren't going to get rid of me, she would! So, early in the morning on trash day, my sister snuck in to the kitchen (this was my home for my first 9 months before my parents bought our house), and she took me out of my bassinet. She managed her way down the stairs with me (pretty impressive for a 3 1/2 year old) and got out the front door. She was headed to the end of the driveway to leave me with the trash can. Luckily, my dad (the early riser!) realized I was missing and quickly went outside to see what was going on. He stopped my sister midway down the driveway and snatched me from her arms. When my dad asked her what she was doing she said "I don't want that here anymore, it needs to go in the trash!" My parents had a long talk with her and my sister came to the conclusion I was going to be around for a while, so I guess she decided she would just make my life miserable.
We were always fighting. Since she was older than me, she usually had the upper hand. She would never let me play with her toys and she thought she was so great when she got her Atari 2600. She was convinced she had me in her back pocket. Made me do anything and everything for a chance to play. Did you ever see the movie Goonies? Remember when Chunk does the 'Truffle Shuffle'? She used to make me do that all the time before she would let me play a game. Little did she know that just a few months later I would get my own! So take that sis!
When I was 10 I got an electric pencil sharpener as one of my birthday presents. I thought it was the coolest thing. My sister didn't have one. I went and got all my pencils ready to start sharpening them! Well, so did my sister. I guess she thought I would just HAVE to let her use it. So, I was taking my time sharpening my pencils and she was standing behind me wanting to try it out. She started to get annoyed and said "you've done enough already, let me do a few!" To which I replied "you can't use it, this is mine!" She was so pissed. It drove her nuts that I had something that she didn't and I wouldn't let her use it. She whined to my mom and my mom just said "it's her present, if she doesn't want to share it she doesn't have to, although I would hope she would." My sister wasn't any happier with that response. She was so mad she took one of her dull pencils and she stabbed me in the back with it! She used a lot of force because it went into my back! It was at least a 1/4 inch or more in there. My mom freaked out! She was afraid to pull it out because she didn't know if it would bleed, if it hit a nerve or what! They had to rush me to the ER with the pencil in my back. Thanks a lot Mom...what about lead poisoning!! Obviously, I survived, but I still have a tiny scar on my back!
Another time I had said some sarcastic and witty comment to her that made her mad and she shoved my head in between the iron rails on the stairwell. Well, once she shoved my head in there, I couldn't get my head back out. There was nothing I could do, I couldn't twist, I couldn't pull, I was completely stuck. My dad tried everything and without popping my head right off my shoulders, there was nothing they could do! My dad had to cut and destroy the railing! They were so mad.
The thing is...my sister and I were never disciplined. My parents kind of just let us have at it. We could be in a heap on the ground or beating the crap out of each other and unless we needed medical attention my mom just kind of let us "work it out." She always told my sister "one day she is going to get bigger and taller than you and beat the crap out of you." I guess that was the most discipline we ever got.
When they were building the house next door, we used to go play in the partially constructed house and on the dirt mounds outside. Since I wasn't as big or strong as my sister yet, I learned very early how to use my words to get to her. I knew how to push her buttons and what her triggers were and boy did I use them! Looking back I probably said some pretty cruel things, but she tortured me! At any rate, my friend Tamera and I were playing on one of the dirt mounds one day and my sister said some snide comment like she always did and I retorted with some cruel response I knew would get to her. I turned around and walked off feeling vindicated when all of sudden.."THUMP!" Something hit my head hard. I went down. I asked Tamera what had happened and she said "your sister just threw a huge clump of dirt at you." It was almost instant that the lump started to form on my head. It hurt so bad! It ended up leaving a huge knot almost on the top of my head that was bigger than a golf ball and slight smaller than a baseball. The next day was school picture day! Needless to say that was not a wallet pic my parents wanted to carry around.
We had a septic tank in our back yard (essentially our sewer system). Normally it was covered and underground, but my parents were having repairs done, so it was uncovered and the lid was off the tank. I remember one day after school when my sister and I got home, I ran to the kitchen and grabbed the last ding-dong. My sister really wanted it and suggested we share it. I took it and shoved the whole thing in my mouth and then just smiled at her with my chocolaty teeth as I scarfed it down. She was so pissed off that she knocked me down and dragged me by my feet outside onto the deck. Then she held me up by my feet and dangled me over the deck and over the open septic tank, threatening to drop me in! Luckily, I was saved by my dad again! He was walking from the front yard into the back field and saw me dangling there screaming. I thought for sure she would drop me before he would get up there and save me!
One summer my parents bought my sister and I new bikes. They were awesome! I couldn't wait to go out and ride it! So, we both took off on our bikes to break them in. I went up the hill and my sister was going down the hill (our house was basically in the middle of two hills). My mom didn't want us going alone in separate directions, so she told my sister to go the other way and stay with me. Of course my sister was annoyed by this. She hated the "big sister protective role". She reluctantly turned around and rode her bike up the hill towards me. My mom wouldn't let us go down the other side of the hill when we would get to the top, because she could no longer see us. So, once I got to the top I turned around and started back down hill. My sister, still bitter she had to change course, decided to come up behind me on her bike and strategically bump my back tire with her bike enough to make mine flip....and that's exactly what happened. I went flying from my bike and ended up with scrapes all over my knees, arms, face, legs and gravel stuck in all kinds of places! My mom couldn't see very well from the end of our driveway what had happened. When she came running up to us to see if I was ok, my sister totally faked concern for me and acted like she had no clue what had happened. She was good like that!
The torture and angst continued all the way until she moved out of the house when she was 18. We had numerous fights where we pulled hair, scratched, beat, bruised, and just tortured the other. My mom was right, I did get bigger and stronger and I returned some hefty beatings to my sister. It was awful. Plus, she went through all these phases in school like - hippie (when she wanted everyone to call her "tree"), loner, dark/goth phase, drug phase, I hate society phase, I hate trendy phase, etc. So, I was 3 grades behind my sister, and I had to follow this "legacy" she established. From the very beginning my teachers were skeptical of what they were going to get with the "second Genthner kid". They were convinced we were not biological sisters after they would get to know me. When she was in high school and I was in middle school, we would ride the bus together. Kids were always making fun of her based on whatever her current "phase" was and I would defend her. I could be a good sister sometimes! She never thanked me for that.
When she moved out and it was just me, I do have to admit I kind of missed her. While our relationship was dysfunctional at best, it was still something.
She moved back several times after she originally moved out and we had some of our worst fights in those years. Those were her heavy drug years and it was scary at times. By the time I was ready to go off to college I couldn't wait to get away. I thought I wanted nothing to do with her and the feeling was mutual.
It was when I came home for Christmas my Freshman year that my sister admitted for the first time that she really missed me and that she wanted a real relationship with me. That was the beginning of something really great. We became good friends after that. I guess it's true that distance does make the heart grow fonder.
I love my sister and I hope with ever fiber of my being and every piece of my heart that she gets better and I can one day have my sister back.
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