It was the day before the day before Christmas about 5 years ago and I was home visiting my family in Oregon. Christmas time is my favorite time of the year. It's one of the few times I get to see my family and all the lights and holiday cheer always make me happy! So, I am always in a good mood....so what happened Christmas 2005 was unexpected to say the least.
I went to the local Fred Meyer's with my mom to finish up some last minute shopping and we were walking through the parking lot to go into the store. As we were walking to the end of the parking lot this Ford Explorer turned in front of us to go and park, but was clearly not paying any attention and turned so close to us that the truck brushed my mom and actually knocked her back a little. I was instantly upset that this had happened and with the palm of my hand I hit the back of the person's truck to make them aware of how close they were to us and to be careful!
Little did I know that I had just hit the truck of the white trash queen of Oregon City (or at least that's what I'm calling her, there are probably others more worthy of the title....sorry OC!) She immediately stopped her car and jumped out screaming at me. She was like "why the f&*k are you touching my car?!" I explained to her that she hit my mom and that she was not paying attention and was being careless. She started into a series of expletives (I think she may have had turrets!) and told me she was calling the police for assault. I asked her "what exactly did I assault...your ghetto truck?" then I said "shall I apologize to the scrap of metal I touched? I guess I should be careful, because one tiny tap and your trash mobile might fall apart!" This only angered her further. I told you in previous posts, I need to watch my words! Sometimes I go too far, as I was about to do. She slightly pushed me as she was screaming and shouting her profanities. It was at that time that I said "why don't you take your white trash self, car, and family back to the trailer park and commiserate with the other white trash whores!"
At that point there was no turning back. It was just like in the movies, she took her earrings off and started hopping around like a nut job...then she hit me! Next thing I knew we were in a fight in the middle of the Fred Meyer parking lot! I was hitting back to try to defend myself against the scratches and punches. Her kids were in the car begging her "no mom! don't do this again, stop!" How sad. My mom was trying to pull her off. It was a low point in my life for sure. I never thought I would be involved in anything like that. I definitely felt like I was truly "Oregon City" at that point. I found some strength and pushed her against her car to make her stop and then my mom grabbed me and pulled me into the store to call the police or get security.
My face was all bloody, she had these long fake nails and had scratched my face as much as she could. When we walked into the store, one of the store clerks saw me and freaked out. She asked if we needed assistance and my mom just asked if she could get security. The security people came and took us into a back room. They placed a call to the police and then started to pull up the parking lot camera to see if she was still out there and to get footage of the "incident". They asked me what had happened and I told the truth. They said while she didn't have the right to assault me that I was old enough to know better than to say those kinds of things. Yes, yes, I know!
They found out that she had parked her car and come into the store to do her shopping! What an idiot! She was arrested for assault and it was like a cops episode. She was fighting it the whole time and they had to get her on the ground with a knee in her back to handcuff her. I'm surprised I didn't end up on cops!
Yes, Christmas 2005 was one for the books. The family photos that year were something special with my scratched and bloody face! At least it was red...very Christmasy!
No comments:
Post a Comment