When I was preparing to move away from home and go off to college, I was actually excited at the idea of living in a dorm and having a roommate. I had heard from so many before me that their college roommates ended up being some of their closest friends during and after college. I couldn't wait to meet someone new and experience this adventure together.
I had heard the one off stories of people that didn't have great experiences, but figured those cases were pretty rare. I was nothing but excited and didn't even think twice that I might be one of those unfortunate few that would have a bad experience. Then I met Andrea G. from Missouri City, Texas and it was all downhill from there.
Marquette does a summer preview before you start your freshman year and you get a chance to meet your roommate (if they come of course), check out the campus, and mingle and socialize with other students and parents. I went with my dad and was super excited to see if my roommate would be there. I knew her name, because they had sent me the information ahead of time. We were in one of the auditoriums listening to some speech when I heard someone say "Andrea G." and I immediately scanned the room to see if I could determine who she was. I found her and immediately got a bad vibe. I shook it off and decided to go up and talk to her and introduce my dad. When I approached she gave me the up and down look and seemed to have an expression that said "don't talk to me" as I got near her. I excitedly said "Hi! Are you Andrea??", and she replied "Yes. Why do you ask?" I told her that I was her roommate and a look of dread came over her face. Great, this was not the start I was hoping for, and even my dad said he got a chill when she spoke.
I tried being social and getting to know her, but she fluffed me off and made some excuse to leave with her parents. Neither of them even said hello to my dad. They were all incredibly cold and rude. I wanted to give the benefit of the doubt that she was just nervous and taken off guard and maybe she would warm up when we came back in a month or so and started school.
This initial experience weighed on my mind over the few weeks as I prepared to pack up and move off to Milwaukee for school. I desperately wanted to have a good experience, after all I was leaving home and going 2500 miles away, and I didn't know anyone even remotely close!
I was going off to school by myself because my parents didn't have the money or the time off to fly or drive our there with me. I had to pack what I could fly with and the rest of my stuff was going to be shipped to me. I thought I had carefully packed everything I would need that first week of school, since my boxes wouldn't arrive for at least 5-7 days. I was bringing an enormous amount of luggage with me. I had 2 large suitcases, a carry-on, and a HUGE storage locker. I didn't even think how impossible it was going to be to get all of that off the plane and to campus by myself!
When I arrived in Milwaukee I got one of those rolling carts and starting flinging my luggage off the carousel and onto the cart, banging my knees and hurting myself as I went along. I got it all stacked and managed my way out to the shuttles and found one to schlep me off to campus. Luckily, the guy was pretty nice about all my luggage and managed to get it all into his van. He had to take less passengers because of all my stuff! When we arrived to my dorm he unloaded all my stuff on the curb and left. There I stood, all alone, and no conceivable idea of how I would get all of this stuff upstairs to my room. I strapped the carry on to one of the big suitcases and grabbed the other one with my other free hand....but then there was the storage locker. It had a large rope on it and I tried strapping it around my neck and pulling it that way. It was the saddest display you ever saw! As I was crawling towards the front door of the dorm, I saw Andrea's parents and they just looked at me, knowing exactly who I was, and didn't even offer to help me! I crawled and crawled, huffing and puffing, and turning purple from being strangled by the locker....then a good Samaritan appeared. One of the other girl's father saw me and immediately got the locker off my neck and offered up his family to help me get up to my floor. Thank goodness!
When I arrived to my floor they helped me bring in my stuff, and the girl who's dad helped me, walked into my room to set down my carry-on that she had helped carry up. Andrea was in the room and had already staked out her territory. When she saw the girl come in she beamed with excitement thinking that was her roommate. Then I walked in behind and thanked the girl and her family for helping me and a look of disappointment came flooding back over Andrea's face. What a bitch!
As soon as I was in the room and taking a look around, she said "I didn't want bunks, so my dad separated the beds and that one (pointing to the corner where she had stuffed my bed) is yours. You can have that closet and that desk." Wow, thanks Andrea, that's so generous of you! I didn't pay her any attention, I just wanted to get settled in and I really needed a nap after all that travel. I went to open up my locker and suitcases and quickly realized that in all the anxiety of packing I managed to forget sheets, blankets, and pillows for my bed! Somehow I put those things in the shipped boxes! Andrea observed this revelation and seemed to enjoy the misery that came over me. I asked her if I could borrow a pair of sheets and if she had an extra blanket, just until mine arrived. She said "I'm sorry, I don't feel comfortable sharing my linens, I don't really know you." Are you kidding me?? I told her I would wash them, but she refused. I didn't have my bus pass or anything yet, so I couldn't just get out to the store and buy sheets or a blanket. I had packed a couple of towels and ended up using those to sleep on for that one night. She seemed to greatly enjoy this and her parents were amused too. Sick people.
It only got worse from there. My mom and I had worked out that I would call her at 8pm every evening to say goodnight and catch up for the day. I didn't really think this was that late and we worked it out so my mom would be home from work, since there was a 2 hour time difference. The first night when I called her, Andrea was staring at me the whole time as if she wanted to vaporize me with her eyes. The second night she started tapping her fingers on her desk when I called my mom, and by the third night she was yelling at me. She said that 8pm was far too late to have phone conversations and that if I wanted to do that I should go to the common area and talk to my mom there or at least take the phone into the hallway. How is 8pm too late?! The next night when I called my mom, I did it at the same time and in our room, I had a right to live there too! Andrea pulled the phone cord out of the wall! Then she told me "when I ask you to do something, I expect you will listen!" She was nuts!
I went to my resident advisor and told her what was happening and she just told me to give it some time, that it's always hard to adjust to living with a complete stranger and she was sure we would gel soon. I was more concerned she would kill me in my sleep!
She monitored everything I did and seemed to have commentary on everything. She tried to convince me that I would be better off living in the engineering dorm and that "those were more my people". About a month into the semester I had to get a campus job as part of my work study program. We had a cafeteria in our dorm and they had plenty of jobs that paid better than most. So, I took a job working in the cafeteria. It was a good gig, because I got free meals and they paid well. The first night I was working the food line, she came through with some of her new friends and she started making fun of me and said "this is how the poor kids pay for college" and then she would be difficult in what she wanted for her meal. Several times she nearly got me fired!
When it came time to pledge sororities, I was asked to pledge for an engineering sorority on campus, and I thought it might be a cool thing to be part of. I didn't really see myself as a sorority girl, but I wanted the full college experience. I decided to go ahead and go through the pledge process just to see what it was like. I was on the phone telling one of my friends back home about the sorority and Andrea was in the room with a couple of her friends. They were giggling and laughing like crazy and I could tell they were listening to my conversation. Andrea kept writing in her notebook and then they would laugh really hard. When I got off the phone they had stepped out to get dinner and she left the notebook on her bed. I went over and glanced at it and it said "the roommie is trying to join a sorority, how sad is that?? I didn't know they had 'special ed' sororities here!" and then it said "I bet she can't wait to call her mommy and tell her how well she is fitting in!" What a bitch! She didn't even know me and yet she decided she just didn't like me. Other people liked me, I was making friends, but I couldn't crack this NUT (literally).
About two months into the semester and just before we were going home for the holidays, one of the girls living in the suite down the hall dropped out of school. This happened to be the same suite Andrea's new little pals lived in, and she immediately jumped on the opportunity to move in. It was the best Christmas present I've ever gotten in my life!! No more bitchy, psycho, control freak roommate!
I was supposed to have a new roommate when I came back for my second semester, but somehow student housing screwed up and I ended up with the double to myself for the rest of my freshman year. It was pretty cool, especially since I met Alicia (she lived in the dorm next to mine with Miss Vernon Hills, IL). She didn't always love her roommate and ended up spending a good deal of time hanging out in my room. It worked out for the best, because we became really close friends and then moved in with each other Sophomore year. So, my tragic story had a happy ending...just much suffering to get there.
The summer after my freshman year, I returned home to Oregon City to work for the summer. Some of the teachers at my high school had reached out to me and asked if I could come to a panel for the seniors to give my perspective on my first year of school and what to expect. One of the first questions they asked me was "how was living in the dorm and what was your roommate experience like?" I couldn't lie to them, I had to give them the harsh reality that it's not all sunshine and rainbows! By the time I was done sharing my experience they all looked terrified. Oops.
All I have to say to Andrea if she ever reads this is....I really hope you didn't major in psychology and if you did, I hope you worked on yourself first...basket case!
Good luck to all future freshman out there that find themselves in roommate hell!
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