You made my middle school years suck!

You would think that after 20 years had gone by that the events of our youth wouldn't really bother us anymore. That's not really the case with me. I have this fortunate (or maybe unfortunate) ability to remember everything! Very recently I reconnected with someone from my early years. We were good friends in grade school and when we moved on to middle school she ditched me like a dirty shirt. I didn't fit in the "cool world" she was trying desperately to belong to. Not only did she completely discard our friendship, she decided the "cool" thing to do was make fun of me and make my middle school years miserable.

There was nothing off limits. She made fun of my clothes, my hair, and every thing I did. I remember the first school dance I went to. I wasn't really that confident in middle school, I was the overweight kid, and I certainly didn't have any dance moves. Yet, I wanted to belong just as much as she did and I mustered up enough courage to go to the dance and give it a try. She swooped in and took her opportunity to make fun of me. She made comments to me as soon as I came in about how sad my outfit was and how pathetic it was that I was alone. I sucked it up and I went to the dance floor and gave it a try. She gathered all her friends to start laughing at me and mocking my dance moves. Then they requested the song "Pump up the Jam" and when it came on and I started dancing, they had spread the word to everyone to leave the dance floor so that I would be out there on my own. I was dancing my little heart out and soon realized I was by myself and the whole school was laughing at me. I just kept my head high and managed my way outside where I sat and cried waiting for my mom to come get me.

Now here it is 20 years later and she pops into my life again (via facebook of course!) and acts as if we were the best of friends and can't wait to see me again. Um...hello, am I the only one that remembers what a bitch you were?? Of course, I didn't hesitate to ask her this very question - are you still going to be a bitch to me? She seemed rather surprised that I would even bring it up. I guess when you are the one being cruel it doesn't stay with you as long it does the person that spent many a lunch break in the bathroom crying...now does it?! She apologized for being so mean and chalked it up to "trying to go with the flow and fit in". I'm a reasonable person and I can understand the pressures of wanting to belong, but there is fitting in and there is just plain cruel.

Part of me wanted to lay into her and make her feel as bad as I did back then. However, she went on to say "if it makes you feel any better, my life sucks now", and I couldn't help but feel bad. You would think I would take some satisfaction in that, but how can anyone take satisfaction in another person's despair? She said if she could go back in time she would have treated me better. I'd like to think she really meant that.

The saying "it's never too late to say you're sorry" is so true. While I can't get my middle school years back, her apology has set me free of holding on to this memory and now it only exists for all of you to enjoy.

Random Acts of Debbie asks that you take a moment and comment, good or bad, I welcome it all!