Stop licking me!!

I was in San Francisco last week for a work meeting. I chose to use BART as my method of transportation, because let's face it, having a car in San Francisco can be a pain in the ass. I had client meetings all day and had ventured out in between to Berkeley to have lunch with Charlie. So, I had been on the BART a lot already. By the time I was wrapping up my day and getting back on the BART to head for the airport I was tuckered!

I got on the BART at Powell Street and settled in for my ride to the airport. I put my headphones on and entertained myself with a little Lady Gaga. Despite the fact that I ate a lot at lunch and had half a cinnamon roll, I was feeling a little hungry. So, I took out a clif bar from my backpack and started nibbling at it. I had my backpack next to me and it was looking rather comfortable for me to lean my head on, so I did. I hadn't finished eating my clif bar, I was still holding it in my hand.

I remember nothing after this until the event I'm about to describe, because I apparently went straight to sleep once my head hit that backpack. I told you I was tuckered!

I probably wouldn't have woken up for a quite a while and most likely would have missed my flight, had the disgusting and foul individual on the BART not done what happened next. What was that you ask? Well, let me paint you a picture of what had happened when I fell asleep. I leaned my head on the backpack and was still nibbling on the clif bar. Then I fell asleep and the clif bar ended up sticking to my cheek. A homeless individual (or I'm assuming homeless based on his look and smell) was sitting across from me and saw me fall asleep with the clif bar. He came over to where I was sitting and was licking my cheek where the clif bar was. I awoke instantly and was completely stunned and dazed by what was happening. I sat up quickly and was like "what are you doing?! Stop licking me!!" I had drool dripping down one side of my face and clif bar still stuck to the other side, now covered in homeless slobber. The homeless man just scoffed and said "I was hungry and you wasn't eatin' it!" Ew, ew, ew!! I was searching desperately at this point for anything to wipe my face...hand sanitizer, wet nap, anything! Why did he have to lick me, he couldn't just pull it off my cheek??

I flung the clif bar off my cheek and it hit the floor. The homeless man promptly picked it up and said "thanks, it's easier to eat this way." An older lady sitting two rows behind me and noticing my suffering quickly offered up a wet one antibacterial wipe and I frantically cleansed my face.

I do have to thank the homeless licker for waking me up in time to make my flight, but I am still disturbed by the event and may have trauma if I try to ride the BART again. Lesson to myself and to all...don't fall asleep on the BART, and if you do, make sure you don't have sticky food attached to your face.

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