Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like a dark cloud is following you wherever you go and anything that could go bad does? I had one of those yesterday.
I started the day with the complete inability to get out of bed. I felt sluggish and despite sleeping for 8 hours, felt like all I wanted to do was sleep. It took some major mental battling to convince myself to get in the shower and start my day.
First incident of the day began there. I was so out of it in the shower that when I reached for the shampoo I got the body wash instead. Ya, that doesn't wash your hair so well. Then, I completely forgot that I had removed the rug in front of my shower because it had been drenched from my flooding wash machine the night before...so when I stepped out I slipped on floor and hit my head on the toilet. No better way to say good morning than with a slight concussion.
I ventured off for work, trying to remain optimistic that my day could only improve, after all I did make it through breakfast and down the garage stairs successfully! Then I hit the freeway and nothing but gridlock. I felt like I was living the movie Office Space, because I would be sitting still in my lane watching the lane next to me zoom along. Naturally, I jumped into the zooming lane only for it to come to a dead stop and my original lane began to zoom. I'd like to say I'm smart, but I did this hop several more times with the same result.
I made it to work just in the nick of time for my 9am conference call and then I was stuck from 9 until Noon on nothing but conference calls, not even a minute to breath in between each one. All I had in my head were visions of a bed and a pillow...heck, who am I kidding, the floor in the office was appealing to me at that point.
The highlight of my day was when the clock struck 3 and I was able to leave for the day. All I wanted to do was get home and take a little nap before walking to my kettlebell workout that evening.
I got home only to find my bathroom flooded yet again and had to whip out the shamwow to start sopping up the water. Although, I have to say this was another highlight, because I finally got to use the shamwow my mom gave me. This made her very happy, despite the circumstances in which I was using it.
By the time I finished the shamwow clean up project it was time to go to make it to my workout. The walk to the studio is about 3.5 miles, and is usually no problem for me at all. However, right from the start my feet were hurting, I felt like I was 80 because everything ached, and I was hungry. I walked miserably for 40 minutes until I got to Evolution (vegan fast food) and all I wanted was a date nut ball. It was the only thing I had thought about for the last 40 minutes. I went to the shelf where it normally is and nothing, they were all gone...all that was left was a apricot jewel cookie (definitely not my fave). I needed something, there was no way I would finish the walk or have energy to workout without some kick. I bought the stupid apricot cookie. As I walked out I spotted a woman sitting out front eating a date nut ball. It took everything I had not to pounce on her and take my date ball!! That was meant for me!!
Continuing on my walk to Hillcrest, I became more and more sluggish and then just as I was trying to give myself another pep talk that I could make it...I heard buzzing. Then I felt something on my back. I quickly realized a bee had made its way under my jacket and my shirt and got trapped buzzing around under there. I flipped out, because that's what I do, and I was kind of flailing and doing a retarded bee dance, when I felt the sting. Well, at least that resolved the bee issue, but ouch!! Luckily (which is never the case for me), I am not allergic to bees. I pulled the stinger out of my back and carried on with my walk.
Once I got to the studio to workout, I was greeted with a smile and the upbeat attitude of Farrah! Yay! I figured I would put all my woes behind me and get excited for my workout! However, I still felt like poo. I tried to power through the workout, I really did want to do my best, but from the start everything seemed a million times harder than normal. The turkish get-ups felt like torture. Every roll to the side felt like someone was crushing all my bones. The bee sting was still throbbing a bit. Towards the end I felt that apricot cookie making its way up and I fought to keep it down. I made it through the workout, but was enormously disappointed in myself.
I left feeling a bit defeated and dreading the 3.5 mile walk home. It might as well have been 100 miles. I didn't make it far when the apricot cookie started to make its way up the esophagus again. Only this time I couldn't keep it down. I leaned against a mailbox in front of a wienerschnitzel and up it came. Blah! Then I realized there was an entire table of people at wienerschnitzel eating chili dogs. I think I probably ruined their appetite. Very sorry!
I paused for a minute, regained my composure, and trudged along. As I approached Balboa park, I was starting to feel beyond terrible. My stomach was making insane noises. My head was pounding. My legs felt like jello and I had no will to keep walking. I thought maybe if I just sat down for a second I would be ok. I spotted the playground and the swings. I headed over to them to sit and rest for a second on a swing. It was dark by this time and there weren't really any lights on the playground. I made my way to swing and leaned back to sit. As soon as I made contact my pants started to feel wet. I knew it hadn't rained lately, so what could have possibly been wet on the swing?! I sat up and then I leaned down and sniffed the seat to see if I could identify what it might have been. That's when I smelled what could only be described as pee. I sat in kid pee!!! Ugh, this is why I will not change my mind about having kids! Now I had to walk 2 more miles home soaked in kid pee...do you know how disgusting that is???
I went home, bathed to get the kid pee off of me, skipped dinner entirely, and just laid on the bed like a lump. At this point I felt like I couldn't even move. Plus, my head was still pounding and I swear to you my stomach was making noises that were not human. I should have recorded it, because I probably could have sold it to some production company for a horror film.
Since I isolated myself to being a lump on the bed, I pretty much limited any further injury for the evening, although I contemplated a trip to urgent care to investigate what was ailing me...but I thought I would hedge my bets and stay put. With the day I had, I could only imagine what tragedy awaited me outside the confines of my bed.
I wish I could say today was better, but the highlights of my day were work emergencies, plumbers bursting pipes in my bathroom and sending water gushing all over my house, water extraction teams dragging copious amounts of equipment into my house, and appliance technicians with plumbers crack and passing gas more than any human should...it's just a day in the life of Debbie.
1 comment:
What a surprise, another day spent alone. I heard you ended up broken and alone before offing yourself.
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