Have you ever boarded a plane and looked at the passengers already seated staring at you in fear that you have the seat next to them? I used to get that look every time I flew. I dreaded that look. Sometimes it would happen before we even boarded the plane. I would approach the gate and await the announcement that they were boarding my seating area and I would glance around and see people looking at me with that "oh please don't let her be sitting next to me" look. Wanting to avoid seeing that look, I would stay close to the gate doorway and the minute my seating area was called I would get on the plane, so I could be seated before having to see the dread as I approached.
Not only did I board the plane as early as possible to avoid the dreaded look, but I had to in order to make sure I could get the seat belt on before too many people were near me and seeing me struggle to get it around me and get it to click. I never knew with each flight if it would fit or not. Some planes had more ample seat belts and some had slightly tighter fits. I always requested the window seat, so that I if the seat belt didn't fit, I had a better chance of hiding it from the flight attendant. I was too ashamed to ever ask for the extender. Some flights, I had to suck it in so tight to get the belt around me, that I couldn't breathe for most of the takeoff and landing. As soon as that seat belt light went off, I would take it off and gasp for air.
I always spilled over to the seat next to me and I genuinely did feel bad that the person in the middle seat had to endure my legs and arms squeezing into their already tight space. On more than one occasion the person sitting next to me requested to be reseated and was not bashful in stating the reason why to the whole plane. I had heard Southwest wouldn't let you on the plane if you spilled into another seat, unless you purchased a second seat. That's why I never flew Southwest. I always feared other airlines would follow suit.
Once on the plane, even in the areas with extra leg room, I couldn't cross my legs. I could never get comfortable. The tray table would never come down the whole way and I would either have to bring it down and let it rest on my stomach and then hold it steady with my arms on it, or I would be able to get it down and then kind of rest my stomach on top, which kept it down. It was embarrassing to say the least. Back in the day when they actually served food, it was hard to fit the food tray in front of me. I would pray that the person in front of me wouldn't put their seat back, because once that happened, the tray table was "out of service" for me.
Don't even get me started on the airplane bathrooms. I would always get to the airport plenty early so I could use the restroom as many times as possible before boarding the plane. Getting into the bathroom on the plane and attempting to use it was a joke! This is not a common worry for most, but it was one of my biggest fears, to the point I wouldn't drink any beverages or eat anything on longer flights. Still, there were a couple of times I couldn't hold it and I had to endure the humiliation. It was like a skit right out of Saturday Night Live usually.
Flying wasn't really enjoyable, I had so many worries and concerns, and it was so uncomfortable. I think that's why I didn't travel very much for the longest time. I just didn't want to go through all of that each time.
The first time I flew after losing some weight, I still couldn't cross my legs, but the seat belt went across me and clicked without having to suck it in and there was even a little slack! The tray table came down with enough room to get at least a finger or two in between the table and my stomach. That alone was amazing to me! I did still spill over a little to the other seat, but not nearly as much as before.
As I continued to lose more weight, each flight I took was a little different. The seat belt slack became more and more, the space between me and the tray table was becoming ample, and I got less and less of the dreaded looks that made me feel so bad. The first time I was able to cross my legs on the plane, I nearly screamed out a hallelujah!
This last trip, it finally hit me how different flying was for me. I never hurry to board the plane anymore. Nobody even gives me a second look (unless it is one of interest of course!). People seated next to me spark up conversations with me and don't look at me with disgust. I can cross my legs easily and have ample room left. I have to pull the tray table towards me now, because it is too far away...and the seat belt buckles right in the middle! Lots of slack! When I flew to Australia, I was able to lay across a row of 3 seats and actually sleep and still have enough slack on the seat belt to keep it fastened while I was laying down and asleep!
I actually enjoy flying now. It's a comfortable and happy experience. It's these little things that still amaze me as I'm getting used to being a new me! I can sympathize now when I fly with larger passengers and what they are going through. I definitely do not give them the dreaded look! I know it's not the most comfortable experience, but keep this in mind when you fly, and try to be a little kinder about the spill-over :)
